Diaries via July :)

The Diaries via July :

According to my life routes . from time to time and can say that each of moments that I've went through before was so so so BORING plus nothing that need to be proud of. Of course when we're talking about problems regarding friendship with friends , families, relationship or even me myself. hmm i just can say here I'm not really satisfied with all of those things at all. Seriously. Don't ask me why cause me myself speechless. I've no idea. I just can say here is EVERYTHING HAVE CHANGED -.- Lets start from the beginning of my friendship. The friendship is getting worst and worst. After one gets mad and everything have settled down, then turns another problems. The other one will get mad because of these because of that. Including me myself. Can assume all of this because of jealousy. Seriously. At first we're sticking with one another. Without any disasters without the hating and all those bullshit things that blow us until we were half separated. Where is our best year together like last year? Where is our promise that we'll befriends together until the end of our breath? Or it is just words only. Maybe action speaks louder than words i guess. hmmm I just want us back to normal. Gleefully smile among each others without hurting others feeling. But Thanks God, all the problems can still be fix without any booming. Start with ONE and back to ZERO. That's the right thing for us now. Remember we'll sitting for SPM this year. So watch out. Be focus and wish you guys all the best. Don't think too much about us. We need to chase our aims and goals and the most important thing is we should makes our parents proud of us. So practice makes perfect girls :)

Carry on with my family matters. (SIGH) This year is the worst and terrible things ever for me and my families. Started from my first twin Aunt. She's got an accident when on her way to send the patient from Sarikei to Sibu. Omagadd. So she went for an operation and yeah, she's okay now. Then comes to my mama. Gosh, my mum was admitted to the Rejang Specialist Centre last few months. She got the bad disease and *I'm not sure what disease* but i can consider that is the serious disease cause she need to face the operation that cost for around 8++++ . huhu . Thanks God, she's back to normal life again. And now huhu . My second twin Aunt is still having her treatment for her cancer. huhu. She needs to face 8 times chemotherapy and 28 times of radiotherapy. huhu . Now she have started her chemo for the second time. So she needs to face 6 times chemo again and then follow by her radio treatment. I don't know how to describe my feeling when she text me and saying that she's okay. Maybe you can lie to your children but can't lie to me Aunt. I'm your niece. Your eldest niece. Maybe you're not my biological mum but still i need to take care of you. You're all are my everything. Without you guys, i will not strong enough to stand, i'll not gleefully smiling here and there. You all are similar as a charger to me. Without a charger, me as a phone can't recharge my energy back. I'm just pity with my uncle. Or Papa i called him. When Papa on the phone with me and he met me last time, his face can express how's his feeling right now. Don't worry Papa. We'll always support you and aunt too. Whatever it is, we just pray for her health. May God bless you always Aunt, love you Mama Nuel :) 

Third thing now is regarding to my relationship. I've no idea. Hahaha  guess what huh . 6 months already lor. lalalalalala . I'm happy for that. Wish everything getting okay from time to time. I'm not saying that we'll forever staying together but  we as human being needs to be more mature to think all of this. No need to afraid of. By the God's will, Feb 18 next year definitely will becomes sweet memory for us sayang. Maybe we're not really know each other yet but briefly can say here is in our teenage age we're in process learning to trust people and instead of someone who call bf/ gf. I can't mention anything yet but if we're track to be together, nothing else can beat that. For sure. My last love was ended last year. Ended after 3 years and that's the most longest love that I ever had. Honestly to say here for the last one year, it's ain't easy for me to forget all about him. Starting from my memories with him. It can't summarized with one paragraph. Even though he's one year younger than me but he has acts me well. We broke up without any reason. I just followed his decision and until now i can't guess what's wrong before this. I'm not compete you guys, but please I just want a peaceful life. Your attitude will performs everything. I've my own feeling. I can detects whether there's something wrong happens towards us. I wish what you express to me each texts are really sincere to me. What that makes me wanna know you well cause when our first met in this fb remembered you bravely greet me at first? Mentioning my events. Knowing me as an athlete? Telling me my real name even though i didn't mentioned anything about me to you. The worst ever i didn't even know you exist on earth before this. That's why I'm dared to propose my feeling towards you at the night of  Feb 17 cause on that time yarabiii my mixing feeling and by the forced of my BFFs I've told you everything. Feeling of jealousy exists when you get close with your friends. hmm . excuse me yr *Girl Friends* Hahaha sounds peeping but that's the truth. I just find someone that really SINCERE  to me. Not just HIDING THE FACTS to me. Thank you :)

And me myself : 

LOOK AT THAT !! I picked for PLKN next year. -.- OMAGADDD. This thing is killing me. Obviously. I still can't accept this thing. Seriously. Among my friends, just me, Rossa and Shafizqah were selected to join PLKN. I don't know how to express my feeling right now. Mixing now. I just afraid whether I'm ready or not to stay alone without my family besides me. Independent like others that staying at hostels. Huhu . Washing my own clothes without the help of machines? LOL I beat I can. When there's a will, there's a way. For your information, me and Rossa have started our training. Hahaha traning before officially going to PLKN. Both of us are really worry about that. Seriously. -.- But don't think too much about that Niea. You must focus on SPM first and later PLKN comes. Fight for SPM, fight for PLKN. Get ready my lil skin ^_^ fairer turns to blacker . hahaha oh well. transformer @_@